


Humble South-Park Kids

by astrokyle



Category: South Park
Genre: Guns, LIKE BASICALLY THE SHOOTERS ARE CONFUSED AS TO, Minimal blood, Other, WHY THHE BOYS AINT FAZED, Wooah, and then they get all serious, by their guns, is set during a school shooting, kinda a crack fic, there is a small about of violence, tweek is a bamf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 23:58:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13088166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrokyle/pseuds/astrokyle
Summary: with all the usual drama in their small town, a school shooting is no big deal.basically, school shooters are here and the kids couldn’t give any less of a shit.EDIT: LMAO I WROTE THIS LIKE 2 SEASONS BEFORE THAT SCHOOL SHOOTING SEASON IM A FUTURE SEEING GOD





	Humble South-Park Kids

**Author's Note:**

> i don’t know if this is like a topic i can’t write about? but like, i honestly should have just done this where they are in a store, BUT WELP ITS ALREADY DONE
> 
>  
> 
> I AM NOT MAKING LIGHT OF sCHOOL SHOOTINGS  
> THIS IS A FICTIONAL SCENARIO.

“what the fuck is wrong with you kids?” the man shouts, shaking the pistol slightly from its fixed aim on kennys head.

none of the kids say anything, merely glance at the intruders before chuckling and looking back to each other. 

man number 2, who is much taller and lean than the first, appears behind shorter mans shoulder, “the blue one didn’t even struggle as i tied the ropes.” he cracks his knuckles, the popping echoing off the classroom walls.

craig raises his eyebrows at stan, who had gestured to his hands with a questioning look, and smirked. of course his hands are already free. lean guy hadn’t barely even knotted it.

shorty steps forward, his gun leading the way, “you,” the barrel bumps into kyles temple, “you do realize what’s going on, right?”

kyle looks around at his friends, who only offer him a shrug of nonchalance. he presses his lips together before matching the short guy’s gaze, the gun moving with his head, “yeah, we know.”

the lean guy circles to hit front, squating down and blocking kennys view of kyle, he stares kyle straight in the eye, “what’s wrong with you?”

the red head huffs. he shakes his hair out of his eyes, the start of a unbelieving smile on his lips, “what’s wrong with me? you’re the one shooting up a school.”

“exactly,” the man presses closer, “your school.” 

kyle squints his eyes as if he were saying ‘well-no-fucking-duh’ and breathes out through his nose.

“we brought guns into your school, rushed your class room, held a gun to your head, and tied you all down.” he runs a hand on his stubbles chin, “and yet none of you are scared.”

the gun rams against his head, “didn’t even try to fight back.”

“worse things have happened.”

the short guy laughs, loud, kyle could feel the rumble of it through the cold metal against his hairline. “oh, really?”

“yeah.” kenny states from behind. the men raise quickly, the gun dropping from kyle, and turn. “really.” 

a punch is sent flying into the lean guy, blood immediately starts dripping from cuts on his lip and cheek, “nails?! what 14 year old has nails in his fucking fists!” 

kenny goes to make another hit, but the short guy raises his gun from his previously frozen state, “move and i shoot.”

kyle laughs, strong and heavy, driving his foot up into the shorties arm from his sitting position, sending the weapon flying towards stan. 

stan quickly rips his hands from behind his back and picks it up from where it lay on the ground a few inches away. 

“thanks.” kenny hums, jumping forward to resume his attack. 

lean guy falls fairly quickly, taking three more blows to the face, fist full of screws to the stomach, and butters leg plummeting out to trip him.

leaving only the short guy, who had been trapped in place the whole time, courtesy of stan holding a pistol to his head, “who the fuck are you kids?”

with a twitch, tweek stands up, ripping the gun from stans grip, “were just a bunch of humble nobody south-park kids.” he snarls, gesturing at clyde and token, who stop their charade of captivity and pick up the ropes used to tie everyone. 

the pair fasten the man and knock him to the floor. 

“i’m not going.”

“well neither am i!”

clyde holds up his fist with a turned brow, token responds with a curt nod, bring his up as well. 

“rock, paper, scissors. . . shoot!”

clyde throws out scissors, while token throws out rock. token smiles in victory, gesturing towards the adult spread on the tile. 

clyde scoffs, moving wordlessly to drag him out the door, making his way towards the, useless, police outside.

**Author's Note:**

> i enjoy comments,,,,
> 
>  
> 
> i really need to write actually fluffy fanfiction but i cant help myself;))


End file.
